Funny Naked Cruise Reviews

Naked cruises do exist, so this means that you can also find funny naked cruise reviews if you know where to look. First, here’s some information about the nature of naked cruises.

The vast majority of cruise lines offer theme cruises. The larger cruise lines will most likely offer the standard theme cruises such as gambling cruises, culinary cruises, singles cruises, reunion cruises, jazz cruises, and more. The smaller cruise lines (or rather smaller ships), however, may be open to just about any type of theme cruise. It is not uncommon for small ships cruise lines to allow a group to charter a topless cruise or a nude cruise.

Believe it or not, not everyone wants to bask in the sun in a bathing suit. Why, there are some who would prefer to bask in little or nothing at all, which is why a handful of cruise companies are taking notice by offering “nude cruises.” No, it’s not what you think. Much like a Paul Cezanne or a Gustave Courbet, the vast majority of nude cruises are very tastefully done.

Where the Nude Cruises are and What To Expect: If you’re looking for a trusted name in the nude cruise industry look no further than Bare Necessities ( Bare Necessities offers nude cruises to nudists and the curious alike and the vast majority of cruisers, a whopping 98%, are married.

The average age for the nude cruises is around 45-55 and they come from all walks from life. On a nude cruise such as a Bare Necessities cruise, you’ll mix and mingle with everything from doctors and CEOs to teachers, doctors and even priests.

Contrary to popular belief, nude cruises are not buck naked 24/7. With the exception of most formal dining rooms on nude cruises, passengers can be nude where ever and whenever they choose. Nude cruises offer the same activities as most major cruise ships including: dining, gambling, swimming pool, lounges, spas, various ports of call, land excursions, etc.

Crewmembers aboard nude cruises are typically fully clothed and passengers are expected to cover up whenever the ship docks. Passengers are also expected to use a towel when sitting just about everywhere aboard the ship.

Nude Cruises and Sex: The object of a nude cruise has never been about sex. It’s all about freedom and expression. The vast majority of nude cruise passengers realize this and according to most nude cruise directors, they rarely have a problem with inappropriate behavior. In fact, it is reported that, due to the sheer numbers of people roaming around naked on nude cruises, this environment tends to have the opposite effect on, well, the opposite sex. Simply put, arousal is rarely an issue.

Nude Cruise Etiquette: If you are a first-timer on a nude cruise there are just a few simple rules to remember. It’s best not to take pictures or video due to privacy issues and concerns. In addition, the same respectful behavior that is exhibited as a fully clothed passenger is expected as a nude passenger. And of course, gawking and staring is highly inappropriate. Nude cruise directors and staff will not tolerate such behavior. In fact, if a passenger exhibits any kind of inappropriate behavior, they may be removed from the vessel and banned from ever booking again.

What to Pack: Ship officials on nude cruises will keep the temperature on board nice and toasty for passengers, so all passengers need to bring is lots of sunscreen, t-shirts, flip flops, shorts or whatever they may feel comfortable dining or lounging in if the urge to dress strikes.

To find funny naked cruise reviews, there are several notable websites available. These include:,,,, and offers more than just reviews, this site has several search functions to help you find everything from bargains and discounts to theme cruises, and exotic itineraries. The site also includes features, news, planning tools, and a variety of cruise message boards where fellow cruisers can exchange stories and information. offers short reviews and ratings. The two types of ratings include: star ratings and value ratings. Star ratings are based on one question — “how good is this ship?” One star is the worst, five stars is the best. takes everything from age and accommodations to food, service, and entertainment into account when rating the worlds cruise ships. Value ratings or “thumbs up” ratings are all about the “Bang for your Buck.” Five thumbs up means the ship is an excellent value while one thumb up means you won’t find much of anything that resembles a value here.

Reviews, ratings, rankings, and popularity contests — at find out which cruise ships are at the top and which ones are not. Get other information on cruise lines, as well as information, ratings and rankings on embarkation ports, and ports-of-call. offers the lowdown on cruise lines from A to Z. Unbiased reviews, cruise searches, quotes, and feature articles are just a few of the sites extras. You can also search for “the perfect cruise,” and browse through news pieces about cruising. After checking out their ratings and reviews, you can also search for discounts and deals. With more than 50,000 visitors per month, has information on roughly 8,500 current sailings. relies on reader surveys to help keep reviews & ratings in check. In addition to cruise ship reviews and ratings, visitors to the site will find top ten and top thirty lists, as well as feature articles about the best of the best in the world of cruises. The site has other information about discounts, as well as information on roughly 12,000 sailings. Cruise Direct Online has been featured in Frommer’s Budget Travel Magazine, and on MSNBC, CNBC, MSN Money, and more.

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